For those of you not familiar, The Nostalgia Critic is a web-series about an American loud-mouthed film/TV critic who reviews media projects, most of which he grew up with/experienced through his earlier life. The Critic himself is more than just a media critic. He is actually a character portrayed by creator, Doug Walker, who expresses his nostalgic history on each media project through his reviews, adding in a series of rants, tantrums and comedy stints. The Nostalgia Critic was created in the late 2000s through the online channel known as Channel Awesome, also home to the Nostalgia Chick (a female version of the NC), Todd In The Shadows, The Angry Video Game Nerd, The Block-Buster Buster and Bum Reviews.
The Nostalgia Critic is one of my personal favourite web-series of all-time. Doug Walker is one of the people I used as inspiration for some of my previous posts and I had a lot of fun watching his reviews. Not only that, but he puts a lot of thought into them reviews. If Doug is still open for requests, I have a few suggestions for films that he could review.
I shall be keeping in mind that he did make clear about the films he was never going to review (even though for some, he did change his mind on), so like don’t worry, them films ain’t on the list below, nor are the ones he’s already done. These are my eleven suggestions on which films the Nostalgia Critic could review. Why eleven? Because I’m going one step beyond;
Pinocchio & The Emperor Of The Night (1987)
I remember the Nostalgia Critic reviewing Pinocchio through Disneycember and certain cartoons by the long-defunct Filmation. I think it’d be really interesting to see how he compares the Disney cartoon to this one considering that Pinocchio & The Emperor Of The Night was apparently an unofficial sequel to the Disney one.
Those who read my previous blogs will probably know by now that Pinocchio is my all-time favourite Disney movie. For me personally, Pinocchio & The Emperor Of The Night works somewhere in the middle. I shall try to keep this short, because I did write a large chunk of info when I ranked my personal Worst-To-Best Filmation Animated Features. I remember praising the songs and the villains, but bitching about certain plot-holes and Pinocchio’s allies, i.e. Gee Willikers(!). Speaking of which, I imagine Doug chanting for the toad to eat him and them other annoying bugs. Who knows?
Problem Child (1990)
I had just recently watched Dennis Dugan’s debut directorial feature and I’m like “What the hell was that!”. Before I saw it, I had a feeling that Junior, that’s the problem child in question, would have autism or some sort of mental disorder. Clearly he did not. He was just a destructive prankster who I’m assuming has a condition in relation to attention seeking as seems clear in the sequel.
Considering that Problem Child is over-filled with lavatory humour, obnoxiousness and a bit of swearing, it’s ironic that it’s classified with such a low certificate, i.e. PG, and is even considered a family movie. I’m certain the Nostalgia Critic would agree. After all, remember when he reviewed Kazaam and the Garbage Pale Kids movie? Well I’m so sure that Problem Child will wind him up further.
Kindergarten Cop (1990)
Doug’s certainly reviewed some of Arnold Schwarzanegger’s films, but I’m quite surprised he didn’t review Kindergarten Cop – a film about a large hard-boiled detective who goes undercover as a school-teacher and get this, he’s teaching a kindergarten class, and which has been debated whether it’s that suitable for kids to be watching.
Personally I had fun watching Kindergarten Cop and found it to tell an amusing yet interesting story. Through past reviews, Doug did admit that he wasn’t a fan of Arnie and I estimate that he would question the film’s appeal to the target audience.
The sequel (Welcome To The Jungle), which I still have yet to see, will soon have been out for a year. I dunno what Doug’s thoughts are on that, possibly that Robin Williams would turn in his grave if he saw that, but I think it would be great for him to review another movie that Robin was in and one that was directed by Joe Johnston.
I recall the Nostalgia Critic making a fuss over Robin’s choices on which movies he appears in. He labelled Flubber and Patch Adams as his bad ones, Hook as good despite flaws, his thoughts on Jumanji?
Batman & Mr. Freeze: Sub-Zero (1998)
Relating to Doug’s obsession with Batman, I think this animated feature could be a good one to review, because I think he also did the film that it followed; Mask Of The Phantasm.
For some reason, partially due to Mr. Freeze and Batgirl’s appearances, it felt to me as a follow-up to Batman & Robin, which is one of Doug’s least favourites. I can definitely understand that and boy I loved that review. But I’m sure he’d take this one any day over Batman & Robin. Only one way to find out.
Stuart Little (1999)
And we come to a film in which one of the Critic’s least favourite film-makers makes a contribution as a writer. I have to admit, never liked Stuart Little that much. I remember questioning the synopsis which involves a human couple adopting a mouse for a son and wondering about certain plot-holes. Doug would certainly be downright annoyed if he ever saw the boat race scene, considering it involves his least favourite cliche, the bully.
If Doug does review Stuart Little, Shyamalan ought to make an appearance.
War Of The Worlds (2005)
I’m not sure whether Doug ever saw the original War Of The Worlds or heard Jeff Lynne’s awesome album of the same name, but I can definitely see him checking out this version directed by the one and only Steven Spielberg.
Although I personally liked it, I have heard a bit of criticism on the film, Tom Cruise getting a Razzie nomination, even the little girl being branded as irritating. Though I reckon the special effects deserve a bit of credit. Again, what are the Critic’s thoughts?
The Simpsons Movie (2007)
We saw his review on what he considered to be the top 11 episodes of the Simpsons. Let’s see what he thinks of the movie. What will be his thoughts on the epic animation, how many parodies are thrown in, the celebrity appearances, oh and did I mention that Bambi’s got a cameo?
Will the Critic find the movie as funny as the series or just as an extended episode? Let’s let him decide.
The Three Stooges (2012)
I would imagine Doug being a fan of the original Three Stooges. For one thing, he, his brother and Spooner once parodied the Three Stooges briefly before they reviewed Alone In The Dark. Obviously he loves Tom & Jerry, but he hates the movie.
As a long time fan of The Three Stooges, I didn’t expect the movie to be as good as the original series, but it could’ve been worse. The Critic will obviously be aware of the fact the original Stooges have long been dead, hence why there are actors portraying them, but would probably agree that some of the modern pop culture references seem forced and don’t get me started on the baby/urination scene. Actually, I’d especially love to see his reaction on the scene with the girl and the balloons.
Also, being that this movie was directed by the Farrelly Brothers, he’ll possibly remind us which movies they’re famous for, i.e. Dumb & Dumber, and question their involvement.
Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie (2017)
This which I feel is my least-favourite movie so far. The Critic once reviewed Dreamworks’ animated features through a period he referred to as Dreamworks-Uary. Obviously, Captain Underpants is too new to have been reviewed back then.
My guess is that the Critic will give a similar-ish review on this pile of crap to when he reviewed the first Pokemon Movie. Not only that, I can imagine him giving the same reaction to the movie that I gave when I watched it; burying his heads in his hands in despair. And who would blame him? Especially to the farting version of Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture (shudders).
Some James Bond movies
With that being said, I reckon he should do something similar with those movies to the way he reviewed the Disney movies for Disneycember, from Dr. No to Spectre. He has referenced James Bond a few times through previous reviews, though all I know at the moment is that he admired Pierce Bronson’s portrayal of Bond, but wasn’t keen on Daniel Craig, despite the quality of the films he was in.
So those were my eleven film review suggestions for the Nostalgia Critic. So of you would agree, some of you would not. Doug, if you’re reading this post, keeping in mind these are just requests. But as a long time fan, I truly love your show and I think you should keep them reviews coming!
Thank you for reading this post.