Some readers may remember a blog, which I based on Easter. At one time, I debated the Easter Bunny’s existence. Well since another Christian vacation is coming up, and just to point out that I love the vacation as much as anybody does, I’m just going to come out and say this;
I believe that Santa Claus is totally make believe.
Alright, alright. I can tolerate that certain other people do believe in Santa Claus, because it isn’t wrong to believe. Everybody has their beliefs. I just feel that there should be a logical explanation in regards to Santa’s existence. Call me a grumpy guts if you want, but in my defence, I enjoy celebrating Christmas, as much as I celebrate New Year’s Eve, Easter, Halloween, Guy Fawkes Night, most holidays, one exception including Valentine’s Day. But do I really have to believe in Santa to enjoy Christmas? That’s like believing in the Easter bunny or God or tooth fairies.
First of all, we all know it wasn’t Santa Claus who invented Christmas in the first place. The origins actually date back many years ago when a boy was born in a stable; I think many of us know his name by now, on Christmas Day. The reason was because the innkeepers were so unsympathetic that they wouldn’t let his parents in and probably didn’t care that the mother was heavily pregnant at the time. Logically, I don’t think story involved any angels. I think that particular angel who delivered the news of Mary’s pregnancy was actually a friendly doctor. I’m not jumping to any conclusions that Jesus’ birth didn’t really happen, because I’m sure that story in the bible was based on something. But we’re not talking about the nativity story right now. We’re talking about Santa Claus.
Secondly, if there really is a Santa Claus or as the person is also known as Father Christmas/Saint Nicholas/Chris Cringle/Le Pere De Noel, why do we never see him or her doing the delivery business? Some of you may be wondering why I mentioned ‘or her’ when I referred to Santa, but we’ll get to that bit later. In the meantime, let’s stick to calling Santa ‘he’ for now.
Where was I? Oh yes! Why do we never see Santa literally delivering the presents? Simple; because when I was a kid, it was my parents who snuck into each others’ bedrooms to slip something into my stocking. It’s also vice versa now, but this proves another logical explanation why I never a heard a thud on the roof. That thud would signal Santa’s entrance. Even my mom debated Santa’s existence when she was a kid. One night, she looked out of the window and decided not to sleep until she saw the guy. It lasted the whole night and she never caught a glimpse of him. I distinctly remember her telling me that story. I believed her and I still do. This was a story from an expert on history. Even one of my friends, who is a year younger than me, never believed in Santa and he was only nine when he told me that. He doesn’t believe crazy stories about a guy flying a sleigh pulled by reindeer, one with a nose like a LED light.
This brings me onto my next point; Santa’s residence, transport and employees. First of all, how do we know Santa lives in the North Pole? I guess the theory is that the North Pole is an isolated area and its residents do not include as much humans as wild animals i.e. polar bears. Plus Christmas takes place during winter and the Pole is quite a wintry place since it’s nothing but thick ice. Well gee, I guess it makes sense considering that Santa would want to keep a low profile considering the celebrity status, but I’m just wondering now where the Easter bunny resides. I doubt the bunny would reside in the same area as Santa considering how glacial the area would be for a bunny. Sometimes I wonder what Santa does if the present making/delivering business takes place during less than a quarter of a year. How do he and his employees make and earn a living during the summer?
Speaking of Santa’s employees, another myth is that they are elves. This is just insane. Elves are as made up as unicorns, harpies and centaurs. Who do you suppose cleans the lavatories? Goblins? Even as a kid, I never thought elves would construct. I had thought that Santa ordered the gifts from particular companies that make them or hired real humans to do the constructions. I never thought elves. The thought of that sounds creepy to me.
The fact about the North Pole’s wintry atmosphere shares similarities to why reindeer are associated with the myth of Santa Claus. The theory is that reindeer are adapted to wintry areas; Siberia, Canada, North Eastern Europe, etc. But what about the crazy thoughts of reindeer being used to pull Santa’s sleigh, ready for delivery, and fly? Reindeer can pull sleds, but they cannot fly! They don’t have wings. They don’t even have helicopter rotors. Even if reindeer could fly, they most certainly wouldn’t be able to keep the sleigh parallel with them, as you can see in the image below;
See? I’m talking about a bunch of reindeer pulling a very heavy sleigh, which not only has Santa Claus on board, but his full ‘sacks’ of presents, which can very easily weigh the sleigh down. If Santa Claus was real, Santa would probably use either a type of large aircraft, say, in the style of the vehicles in Thunderbirds, or he would use some sort of time machine. It probably would be more logical considering a heavy load of presents and also considering Santa has way over a trillion places to make the deliveries. The world is not a small place. Simple as that.
Relating back to why we never see the actual Santa Claus, we all know that each ‘Santa’ we meet (and possibly sit on one’s lap) is a man (or woman) in a suit. I remember when I was a junior high school student, there was a ‘Santa Claus’ and I could tell it was the history teacher, because I recognised his voice. I wasn’t dumb enough to think that was really Santa. In fact, many people jump to conclusions that Santa is a fat white man with a beard and red jacket aged over a hundred. How do we know? We never see it. Is it because of the other alias i.e. Father Christmas? Or it could be Mother Christmas or Grandma Christmas or Aunty Christmas. The ‘Chris’ in Chris Cringle could be short for Christine. Santa Claus could be a woman; a medium built black woman in her late forties wearing a gold jacket, something like this;
Well there you go. Those were my thoughts on Santa Claus’ existence. If I was a killjoy I apologise for that. But kids, if you’re reading this, don’t feel put-off. Everybody’s entitled to opinions. You are too. I’ve shared mine and you can share yours if you want. Just remember that just because one says there really is a Santa Claus, doesn’t mean you have to believe them. Believe in what you believe in.
I wish you all a very Merry Christmas (even if there’s another three weeks to go)!